IN AND OUT OF A NEW SIZE

I never thought a "diet" would do me any good-will power is just not my thing when it comes to good food. Food is the center of a number of things we do-celebrate everything from birth to death...I just happen to like food-not like I gorge or anything, you just don't realize how many calories and how much fat you consume while you are having happy hour and hanging out with friends. You have to have chips n salsa with your mojito don't you know, and then you might as well have some queso and guacamole to go with that, right?! Low Carb has never been a good idea for me-or so i thought..I figured it was just a way to set myself up for failure.
Something happened today-I went to go put o a pair of slacks and couldn't find a pair to fit! that's how long it's been since I have beeen at this size-everything is too big :) I jumped on the dea of a nice suit-after all a year ago a got a number of them too small on purpose so that "someday" I would be able to wear them-THEY ARE TOO BIG!
so now I am actually wearing a decent size but don't have a thing to wear-LOL
I started down this path as an experiment, to check out a product I didn't know or necessarily think wold work as good as the claim.....pretty hard to lok at al the clothes o the floor and not believe this thing works :)

time to exercise???

The thought of exercising makes me tired :) although I always feel better once I leave the gym...it's the getting there that's the hard part! PLUS, MOST GYMS ARE FULL OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T LOOK LIKE THEY NEED T BE THERE. I guess that's the whole point of it-if you go on a regular basis-that's what will happen to your body. Eating better is only half of it. So....it's time to get serious and find a place to work out. I would really rather take my bike to the lake and ride, but I know that I need more than that. Besides, there's only 6 weeks left in the contest and I intend to win! I guess it's more than just that-although I do have a very competitive streak in me :) I really do feel so much better-but when I think of how great I will look and feel 6 weeks from now I get pretty excited about it. It's been a long time since I could actually feel comfortable wearing form fitting clothes. Why is it that when we gain weight we wear clothes that are even bigger? For one thing, it makes us look even BIGGER and another, we end up fitting into those clothes cause there's room to grow-talk about self-defeating behavior!!!!! There's an article coming out next week about the weight-loss clinic and Dr. Casad (the medical director) that interviewed me-they put the day 1 photo and the day 45 photo-OG did I realy look like that 2 months ago???? UGH. Oh well, I don't look like that now :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

25 down-25 to go!

The smell of fresh pizza slowly fills the room with a wonderful sensation of goodness. My stomach revolts and my legs are leading me to the kitchen-but I CAN"T DO IT! I have come this far and I already ate mexican food yesterday :(. It never really seems worth it after I'm done.....Tomorrow I am going to put myself back on day 1 of the program. My BFF is starting the program and I have slacked off somewhat, so this will be a great time to jump start myself again. Plus, I am going to go back to the gym Y E A H!!! Funy how it takes so long to get in the habit of something good like the gym and only a few days to break it! Of course I want to win the contest so Brandy will have to dress up and we can all laugh and have fun at her silly expense (sorry brandy), but I also love the feeling of piling up a load of jeans and slacks to give away cause they are too big for me now! Oh yeah, there's the whole health thing-but honestly, that isnt what makes me do this day after day-I want to look good and in doing so-I feel good. I know I will be happy about being healthier-but right now I am just not there yet-I am in the superficial arena and I' OK with that-if that's what it takes for me to be healthier-so be it!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

first appointment

Initial appointment at the clinic yesterday. Everyone was VERY friendly. I think I spent more time talking to both the staff and the doctor herself more than I have my own primary care physician in the last five years! They actually took the time to listen the the answers to the questions they posed to me. Novel idea. Program seems manageable enough to follow.
I really wasn't sure if it would actually make a difference to me whether or not there was an actual doctor runing the clinic-suprisingly, it did. I have been on thyroid medicine for about two years now, but never realy had a discussion of much substance with my doctor about it--what it was supposed to do, what I should expect to feel, etc. Dr. Lopez actually talked with me about what thyroid disease is and what my current medicine is designed to do. We even discussed other options in medicines. Not the end or beginning of the world, but definitly a point of diferentiation. I guess maybe it does matter that there is a doctor running the clininc. No firm decision on that yet, just thoughts.