final stretch

well the final stretch is upon us and although I have had a few weeks where things didn't go exactly as planned-I am still 36 lbs, 8 inches in waist, 10 inches in hips and 3.5 sizes smaller than when I started so no matter what the results in a couple of weeks, I have achieved a lot and when it comes down to it- I just FEEL better. I love trying on a pair of pants that I bought on sale cause they were cute (but two or three sizes too small) and have them be too big! It has cleaned out my closet and I am down to just about nothing to wear-but I will take that problem from the smaller size any day!
It's funny how we immediately get rid of our fat clothes-but we always hold onto our skinny clothes! This is great-I don't even have any clothes that are the size I am getting in to!
Other than just the outside-which I am NOT minimizing-it is VERY important-anyone who says it isn't important at all is lying!
I just feel better inside-physically and psychologically. Even when I do have something like a three-day weekend that is centered around eating, I don't feel quite as bad-knowing I am not going to gorge and also knowing even if I do eat more than I should (which I am much more aware of now) I have a system to get myself back on path and it is easy to do that-
ramblings after a great Memorial Day weekend with family and friends-and plenty of BBQ!

week 8 and pic

well now that I am officially half way there I keep thinking about those two weeks when I either didn't lose a pound or gained a pound- I put myself two weeks behind where I wanted to be... and then I stop to think about the fact that I have lost 25 pounds! that's 6 inches off my waist and 8 pounds of junk out of the trunk! Guess I feel a whole lot better now than when I was thinking of those two lost weeks. I'm actually surprised I have managed this far anyway.....
lots of stress going on right now-my own stress and the friends with marital problems, health problems, business problems... and when I am driving in my car I can't help but let my thoughts drift to my dear friend Denise and how unfair it is that she didn't get to stick around this earth to see her kids finish growing up or take one more photo or time to laugh one more time about our crazy trip to Mexico....
I can't help shed the tears alone in my car. tears of anger and hurt and fear. tears of loss and lost opportunities. I want to hold even closer to the things in my life: the people who have made their way along my path at some point and at the same time fear the loss of them. I mourn. I mourn for the family of my friend. I mourn for the part of me that is so full of grief I have a hard time breathing some days. I mourn for the heart that seeks answers to so many questions.....
and I take one more step, one more breath....